Before reading my first book on self-development, at the end of 2003, I did not really read books. The books I read were those I had to read while I was at school, which meant I had no choice.
Until this point I did not like reading; which was partly because it took a while for me to learn to read. I was not diagnosed as dyslexia when I was younger, but I had learning problems, to say the least.
During this time it was unclear why I thought it was hard to learn. One thing that came up was that my grandfather also had difficulty learning, it was then as if this was the result of a gene that had passed on (or a generational group).
Then I had no idea what was happening, and it had a big impact on how I saw myself. It was not only that I could not do things that most others could, it was that there was something wrong with me - I was defective.
By seeing myself as someone who was not very competent, intellectually, I thought I was not very intelligent. As a result, if I came into contact with someone at the university, I used to put them on a pedestal.
But although it was a mystery of why I found it so hard at school, I think it was because of what had happened to me as a baby and what I went through at home. Being neglected as a baby would not have done anything good by the brain, and the amount of stress I received by being beaten and neglected as a child would not have helped either.
This was overlooked
The problem was that that was what my parents said to people, like the educational psychologist I was referring to, and that was what happened behind the scenes. For example, on the report sent from the educational psychology service, it said that Oliver is the younger of two children coming from a safe home.
Yes, a home that was as safe as a war zone. To me, it emphasizes how important it is for people working in this area to look beyond what they tell the parents. If they do not, it can mean that a child continues to be injured.
This was different
So when I started reading my first book on self-development, I could not get enough. I had an incredible desire to understand myself, and it was as if I had found something I had been looking for my whole life.
I would often encounter words that I did not understand, and it made me buy a glossary. In the end, this was a time when I started educating myself, and thats when I started to see that I could actually do something.
I wanted to know why my life was as it was and why I felt how I did it and I did not want to stop until I found the answers. I could gradually develop a pretty good understanding, but I also knew there was still more to learn.
But despite this being my opinion, I was told that I could no longer read books about childrens trauma and addiction. The therapist, whom I worked with in 2013, told me that would prevent me from continuing.
I was confused
When I learned this was ashamed and as if I did something wrong; Fortunately, I soon came to my minds. On the one hand, what I learned was meaningful, but on the other hand, I thought it would hurt me more than well.
If I had done what this person recommended, I can still do the same and not make progress. It was only by continuing to learn that I could see that I needed to do something else.
A natural process
I knew that I was responsible for my own healing journey; If I had invoked them, I would have given away my power. This meant that I was not prepared to do what was recommended and that my ability to think critically on one side.
As time passed, my desire to read these books began to decline, but it was only because of the progress that I had made. What this makes me think about is how important it is for us to trust ourselves, to ask what we are told and to be our own authority.
Prolific writer, author and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, comes from England. His insightful comments and analysis cover all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-esteem and inner awareness. With over one thousand five hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope together with his sound advice.